Why don’t they call them bedtime snories? Seems like a missed opportunity.
Sometimes I stop petting my cat so he’ll smush his face against me to get me to keep going. So, not ready for parenthood then.
TFW you're done with all your Christmas shopping! And now you have to wrap all of it. https://t.co/a6Ja186u2y
100% would watch a show that is just Ellie Miller from Broadchurch telling people off.
That m’fer came out of his pseudo-rehab hole (one week!!! So brave!!!) just to try and silence her. And what about… https://t.co/3GBkjmUGCS
Obama came back. So. #WriteAHappyStoryIn4Words
HEAR YE HEAR YE JOHN OLIVER CAN HEREBY GET IT HENCEFORTH. #hecangetit https://t.co/fxzIiEArtM
I watch Law & Order SVU like it's scifi fantasy. OMG imagine a world where rapists go to jail lol.
Dear My Body: I am sincerely sorry for this weekend. I promise I will be so so nice to you all week.